ugh. i feel so freaking careless right now.

last wednesday, i spent the night at my friend shoey's house. we stayed up until 2:30 in the morning in order to finish a bridge for our physics class. on monday of this week, we discovered that it hadn't been tested over the weekend. apparently, it wasn't wide enough. in fact, it was 3 millimeters too skinny. aggghh. that was the easiest part of our bridge, yet it's timely to fix and fixing it likely weakens it. if only we had checked all the measurements. all we had to do was measure the sticks. yet we didn't. and now it's screwing us over. i should have paid more attention.

then, today, i discovered at the end of the day that i didn't have my cell phone. after searching through all of my materials and my locker, i still didn't discover it. the last place i remembered having it was in the gym locker room, first period. i put it on the shelf in the locker i use for the period. when i left the locker room, i don't think i had it. everyone, especially the seven people after me, had access to it. i don't understand myself. why did i put it on the shelf instead of in my backpack, like normal? i think my conscience told me that doing that was dangerous. why did i ignore my instinct? i'm usually so good at listening to it. gah. it seems silly, but please pray for me to find my phone. this is making me insane. i feel so stupid.

well, let's talk about some more exciting news in my life. i have my first date ever to a school dance: greg bruno. and, jamie is likely getting a new car. really, just: jamie is okay from the accident. jake is getting better. i'm getting over someone. shawn and lindsay are going to the philippines. i'm going to lithuania this summer. my uncle's house should finally be ready in june in lithuania. i can actually say a few phrases in lithuania. i'm spending less and less time with school and more and more time with friends as the year continues. i'm desiring to talk to God whenever i'm alone (especially in the car). i really feel that God has been answering prayer recently (if you can't tell from all the positives in my life). God has provided many high-paying babysitting jobs for me. a certain lazy person at my school finally got what he deserved. my small group rocks. i get to park my car at school. i'm building so many relationships with my small group and several other people. PRAISE GOD!

and, if you would be willing to pray for me right now:
-my phone
-the ACT that i'm taking saturday
-my relationship with a certain person (ask...)
-my influence at school

thanks so much. i love you all.

My grandfather was an amazing man of God who died September 6, 2005. I read this at his memorial service on September 17.

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            “When’s the next time Grandpa’s coming?” That was always a popular question in the Povilonis house. The best part about asking the question was that the answer was always, “Soon”. Grandpa’s much-anticipated visits occurred at least twice a year during the past fourteen years. Each time that he came, Grandpa eagerly supported us in all of our activities, including sports, music, school, and church. I remember Grandpa’s sitting on the sidelines at my soccer games as well as his standing in the backyard, teaching my brothers how to box. Then, of course, he always attended our band concerts at school, prepared to offer his critique of the performance afterward. Grandpa was the one who encouraged Edwards family music times, providing an opportunity for the musical members of the family to showcase their talents for the rest of the family, and reminding us about the value of music. And most importantly, Grandpa always strongly reiterated the necessity of having a growing faith in Jesus Christ. I remember our family Bible reading times when Grandpa would always share his wisdom.

            Also during his visits, Grandpa often attempted to tackle a project. From assistin in deck construction at the beginning to helping install hardwood floors just two years ago, he was in every way a part of the improvement of our home.

            One of the things that is most influential in my life today is Grandpa’s love for languages. This is an area in which he had great expertise, and he was always willing to share it. One time when I was mowing the lawn, Grandpa walked with me and sang “La Cucaracha” to me in Spanish. He encouraged my using this gift to serve the Lord, expressing excitement each time that I wished to travel on a missions trip to Mexico.

            The last and definitely most valuable blessing that Grandpa gave me was my mother. More importantly that her alone, though, is what he invested in her that she later passed down to me and my brothers. He encouraged my mother to value the most fulfilling parts of life, including her faith. In emphasizing this important aspect to all of his daughters and then making sure that each of them married someone with the same beliefs, Grandpa provided a rock-solid foundation for my life and for all of my cousins’ lives. He alone guaranteed that this time right now is one of celebration, for now we can still ask with anticipation: “When are we going to go to see Grandpa?”, and the answer is still most definitely, “Soon”. And that approaching celebration will be filled with more joy than we can imagine.

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My grandpa was so amazing that he refused to let my mother and her sisters have an elaborate funeral for him. The only thing he wanted was to bring more people to Christ through his death, a death that truly brought him life. Nichole Nordeman best describes my Grandpa:

"Legacy" 

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
And you can take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all the "who's who's" and so-and-so's
That used to be the best at such and such
It wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an "atta boy" or "atta girl"
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

 I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

Not well-traveled, not well-read
Not well-to-do, or well-bred
I just want to hear instead
Well done, good and faithful one

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me

--The best part about my grandfather is that he didn't attempt or pretend; he just lived a legacy.